So Close
by ChanelBesos
Summary: SongFic from "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin. Just dealing with the f-word...feelings. And what not. HousexCuddy. Sappy. Hope you like it. One-shot.


Dsiclaimer: I do not own House MD and sadly never will. I also do not own "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin. The only thing that is mine is the idea of the story itself.

A/N: This probably seems really confusing and OOC, my bad. I just felt like it could fit them somehow and I hope I did it some sort of justice.

**So Close**

They stared at each other for a brief moment before he quickly averted his eyes. The intensity of her sparkly stormy seas washed over the side of his face. House glanced back before he turned his body away.

"Good night." He let out the husky whisper. His heart ached with his body, forcing emotional pain to become a physical manifestation as he limped away. Desire and hurt coursed through his body, making his vision blurry and marred by confusion of opposing emotions. As his left foot crossed the threshold he heard her voice call softly, sweetly out to him.

"Good night," she murmured, hesitant and longing, clutching at her grey sweater, his head whipped back to see the pain of loss in her eyes. She turned when they made eye contact and started shuffling away, feeling the thought of him turning back to the door inside her mind.

He couldn't pull away though his body desperately tried to force him to the door, to leave her to cry alone. She was in the arch of the hallway now and he quietly moved behind her and wrapped the arm not holding his cane around her back. He led her to the overstuffed sofa that didn't look like it belonged in this Dean of Medicine's home, but it fit her more than most thought. Reclining painfully, he shifted her body so it was lying parallel to his and yet she fit into the curve of his body perfectly. The two just lay there, not whispering sweet nothings or words of reassurance and sugar-coating. No peaceful eye contests. The only sound that reverberated through the large, voluminous home was the occasional sob or sniffle, being uttered from the strongest woman he knew.

_You're in my arms_

_And all the world is calm_

Moving his body backwards so that they fell sweetly against one another and she sighed. Cuddy's head snuggled closer to the man's board chest. The only person who could ever soothe her in her time of need. Of course, he insulted her more times than anyone could ever count, but House was also the only one who was ever there when she truly needed a shoulder to cry on. In the warmth of his embrace she quickly fell asleep.

Now that she was sleeping, he felt awkward. Gently tugging himself out of her tight embrace he paced her house.

What am I doing here? I don't belong here. She won't want me here. Tomorrow she won't want me here.

His sharp, crystal orbs were now dull for sleep deprivation. He had been up for at least two days, stuck awake, thinking about her. House's gaze followed along the lines of shapes in the gold-hued home and landed back on the now seemingly small woman. Her body curled into fetal position, thin arms hugging her knees to her chest. The thump of wood was quiet on the carpeting and he went to wrap the crème colored blanket over her. The soft chenille material clinging to her dainty shoulders and fell between the blades of her back.

A smile lit up his gloomy features as he spotted a baby grand piano.

_The music playing on for only two_

_So close together_

_And when I'm with you_

_So close to feeling alive_

Bright light flashed before her eyes and she saw it as crystal clear as it came. The brilliant red fabric swirled around her body, clinging to the svelte curves and she knew she looked amazing. The neck dropped only slightly, but come round back and gave a beautiful glimpse of her upper back. Cuddy's shoulder blades looked graceful as the streaks of red silk swiveled down beside them. His strong arm wrapped tightly around her body and she laughed at his protectiveness.

House too looked divine, suave and still virile with his stubble and only slightly fixed hair. He twirled her gently and all eyes were on them as they spun sweetly around the room. The music was a lovely melody that sounded like love and pain and naivety.

_Look at the way they're all looking at her. Like birds of prey or something. What am I even doing? So I got ketamine. It's working again this time, but it'll just fade. She deserves someone better. She doesn't even want me. Who am I kidding?_

Her smile lit up her face as she laughed as she spun as they danced. He couldn't help but smile back, which caused her happy smile to melt into a soft, almost loving smile. The blueness in her eyes sparkled as she leaned closer to him. Her perfume was intoxicating and he pressed his head against hers. He let out an inaudible sigh, still doubtful of everything.

_A life goes by_

_Romantic dreams must die_

_So I bid mine goodbye, and never knew_

"Why are you dancing with me Cuddy?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Because I chose too."

"Why not all the rich, snotty donors?"

"Can't you just enjoy this, House?"

"No." he stopped.

"House."

"Give me an answer."

_So close was waiting, waiting here with you_

"Why? Do you like me, House?"

_And now forever I know_

_All that I want is to hold you_

_So close_

"And if my answer is yes, what then?"

"What would you want me to say to that?" she replied, arms lowered and a frown creasing her brows. Curiosity sparked her features.

"Stop deflecting,"

"I'm not deflecting I just wanna know!"

"Do you like me?"

_So close to reaching that famous happy end_

_Almost believing this was not pretend_

_And now you're beside me and look how far we've come_

_So far we are so close_

"I think you know the answer to that House." Cuddy smiled softly, but her eyes flitted down as her voice lowered by the decibel. It gave him an odd sensation, of a feeling he hadn't felt in so long he couldn't even recognize it anymore. He threw her a smirk and slowly began to dance again.

_How could I face the faceless days_

_If I should lose you now?_

"It's just that-"

"That what?" he asked, suddenly frustrated. She ran her hand smoothly up the side of his tux and placed it near his line of vision.

_We're so close_

_To reaching that famous happy end_

He looked to his left and felt the unknown feeling drop like lead weight out of his system. Brilliant glitter hit his eyes and House felt his breath stop.

"No."

_And almost believing this was not pretend_

"House, I-"

_Let's go on dreaming for we know we are_

"No. No way, not now, not ever. Cuddy, please…just, no."

"I'm so sorry House. It. You we're too late."

_So close_

Her docile arms dropped from his shoulders and Cuddy stood only inches away from him. He wanted to reach out, but couldn't force his mind to wrap around the situation.

_So close_

Turning slowly on the tip of the stiletto heel, she slipped away from him and out of his life.

_And still so far_

Her arm wrapped around just another suit and she felt the pricks of tears staining her vision. A glance thrown with careful effort and he stood, blank in the middle of the floor. How could she have been the one to break him?

-x-

Cuddy gasped awake, heart racing and throat dry. She took in deep breaths of refreshing air, trying to slow down her body. She ran her right hand through her hair smoothing it down and bit down hard on her lower lip. The blood pooling there, leaving it pulsing and hot. It was only then she felt the dead weight on her left hand. Arching her back to pull her spine and she twisted her body only to face the man who could make her tear up in her dreams.

His eyes were down, diverted to the hospital bed and the pale blue gown that adorned each patient's body. A gasp fell from her lips once more.

"Cuddy?"

"House, yes. You're awake, thank God." She rubbed her thumb gently over the roof of his hand, feeling the blood rushing through the veins, throughout his body.

"Could you just not?" frowning she loosened her grip, which to her very surprise he tightened.

"Not what?"

"Have such freaking weird dreams. They are so sappy." He snarked and then looked up at her, and she was tempted to look away just to avoid the bite of sarcasm in his eyes. Only it wasn't there. It was just what always brought them together. The way they connected and the reason they needed each other to always stay so close, pain.

A/N: Yes it was really sappy. Sorry bout that. Reviews would still be nice on how I can improve or if you liked it or anything :]


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